Save Me From Myself

First off, an excellent (IMO) post by KKR to share: Business Musings: Outrage Fatigue which kind of dovetails with where I am mentally this morning.

I just walked away from writing a response to someone who had posted on a writers’ forum and is clearly not all there. (Anytime someone posts incredibly long posts with lots of CAPITAL LETTERS and exclamation points and rants about how the world or someone else doesn’t get them, walk away. That is not a discussion to have because that person is not operating in the world you are.)

This person had made a throw away comment about not being able to check out their competitors’ books without buying an ereader and (heaven forbid) paying for the books. I was going to point out that, at least with my books, they should be available through the library. (Sometimes you have to request it with the library but the option is there to do so, both in ebook and print. I’ve had libraries in New Zealand pick up my fiction, for example.)

But then I realized that the ten minutes I was taking trying to frame my answer to this person in a way that wouldn’t trigger another long inane screed was time I was wasting and could be spending elsewhere, like on writing the next book. So I walked away.

This is a frequent occurrence for me. I see a conversation I could be a part of and even sometimes write a response and then…I realize that’s just a waste of my mental energy and my time to engage. I’m sure there are people who think they’ve “won” that argument because I didn’t respond. Not with me. I just figured life is too frickin’ short to have that argument with that person.

Almost every day I ask myself why I bother even going on writing forums. I’ve been at this long enough I’m kind of set in the way I’m going to do it even if it’s not the optimal choice. Since I’m no longer in that mode where I need all the information to figure out how it all works, the forums have a lot less value for me.

And yet I still at least lurk and often get tempted to post.

Why? Why?

(Probably because when you’re only conversations on a given day are with your dog and your not-exactly-positive mother, you need some sort of social outlet. But, seriously. Writers forums are not the way to do it.)

(Of course, neither were skydiving forums. I suspect any online forums are about 90% annoyance 10% “I’m glad I read that”, at least as far as I’m concerned.)

But it’s like a drug addiction. Easy to say you should quit, but really hard to do so.


Author: M.L. Humphrey

M.L. Humphrey is a former securities regulator, registered stockbroker (although only briefly), and consultant on regulatory and risk-related matters for large financial institutions with expertise in the areas of anti-money laundering regulation, mutual funds, and credit rating agencies. Since 2013 M.L. has also been a published author under a variety of pen names and across a variety of subjects and genres. You can contact M.L. at mlhumphreywriter [at]

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