I was looking at my sales numbers this morning and projecting what I was going to gross for the month as well as net. And I felt depressed by the numbers. Because this time of year my ad costs go up compared to my sales. So I was looking at grossing more than I ever have before but netting less than I did in September or October. And maybe even August.
But then I had to take a step back and give myself a reality check. Because where I am right now, on the 13th of December, for both gross and net is more than last December. I’m not even halfway through the month and I’m past where I was a year ago. That means I’m very likely going to double what I was earning this time a year ago and most likely triple those numbers.
That’s really hard to keep in perspective. Every single time I level up I seem to forget how hard it was to get to where I am now. I remember wanting and wanting and wanting my first $1,000 month. (Gross not net.) I came close a few times in the year before it happened–hitting in the $800’s–but I just could not break through that level. For years. I was in my fourth year of self-publishing before I broke through that level.
And, knock wood, haven’t gone below it since.
But now if I had a $1,000 month I’d be bummed. I’d wonder what on earth I had done wrong to slip that far. Each time you hit a new level, your expectations shift. At least mine do. That’s what keeps me moving forward.
But that makes it hard, too. Because you can never stay satisfied with where you are. And, of course, in indie land there are always people doing better with apparently no effort. “Oh I just write my books and throw them out there and they earn me six-figures a year. Isn’t that what it’s like for everyone?” (No. No it is not.)
Which is why I appreciated something I saw on KKR’s blog this morning. She said:
“A lot of you have told me lately that you’re “failures” even though your books are selling. They might only be selling one copy a week or they might be selling dozens of copies per day. It doesn’t matter, because you’ll find someone who you believe is doing better than you are…
That’s why I wrote today’s blog. Because I want you to celebrate each sale, each reader. Those sales are important. Someone liked your work enough to spend money on it. Be happy about that.”
And it’s true. Sometimes we need to just take a moment and embrace the fact that we wrote something, put it out there, and other people bought it. Heck, they even liked it. Having that happen once is amazing. Having it happen hundreds of times? Thousands of times? That’s…there are no words if you really stop to think about it. (I’m high enough in Self-Assurance that I expect that to happen, but really, truly? It’s almost a miracle. If miracles are made from sweat, tears, and blood.)
Which is all to say: embrace every milestone. You may never be satisfied with where you are (I probably won’t be), but force yourself to stop every once in a while and appreciate how far you’ve come and what you’ve accomplished.
M.L. Humphrey 